


as fast as your legs can carry you

by orphan_account



Category: ZE:A
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minwoo can run, Junyoung no longer can; They still manage to find each other, and maybe that's the most important thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	as fast as your legs can carry you

"For  _once_  in your life, Moon Junyoung, let someone take care of you!"

The outburst had come from the most unexpected person. If one thought about it, however - namely Kevin and Siwan - said person would have been the one they expected to speak up first.

Ha Minwoo stood at the hallway leading from the living room to the rooms in the  _hyung_  apartment, hands balled into fists at his sides. It was no secret that the younger was the closest to their leader, and had been the most affected by Junyoung's injury. For someone who counted on Junyoung for most things, who saw the other as an older brother, as a best friend, a family member, and recently even a lover, seeing him like this was a nightmare.

"We're worried about you," He managed to grind out, eyes glaring, "All of us. And we might not know how you feel right now, but if you don't  _tell_  us, we're never going to know, are we? Let us help you. Let  _me_  help you."

Moon Junyoung sat on the couch in silence, hands clasped together and hiding his face from the world. Ever since his injury, he'd been quiet and closed off, not talking to anyone and not letting anyone in. It had taken its toll on all the members, to the point that even Minwoo, the one who lost his temper the least in the entire group, had exploded.

Angered by the lack of response, the dancer unclenched his fists and lifted his chin up in an attempt to hold in the tears that were threatening to fall.  _Fine_ , the younger idol thought,  _If Junyoung doesn't need me, then what reason do I have to be here?_

Minwoo stormed out of the house, not even bothering to put his shoes on, down the stairs and ran. As fast a sprinter as he was, the only two people who could catch him at this speed were out of commission - Dongjun wasn't back from filming yet, and Junyoung couldn't run any longer. Even Hyungsik, with his long legs, could not catch up, and slowly the calls of his name faded into silence.

He found himself in a familiar place, and while the sight used to bring a smile to his face, now it merely made his heart ache more. This park used to be the one he and Junyoung would visit when they had time off together, away from the bright lights and loud music of the stage that they were used to. It was tucked away in its own little corner, sub-urban at most, where the families either did not recognize them or would merely direct a smile towards them in acknowledgment, but wouldn't bother them any more than that. It was a place they could just be themselves, just be Moon Junyoung and Ha Minwoo rather than the leader and main dancer of ZE:A.

There was a small playground, empty at this time of day, seeing as it was already 10 at night. Minwoo whimpered at the thought of Junyoung no longer needing him, then moved to the tunnel slide, crawling into the tube and huddling there from the cold biting wind of the night, bringing his legs up to his chest and bowing his head so that he wouldn't hit his head. He buried his face in his knees, letting the sadness wash over him and the tears fall. He made sure to keep his sobs as quiet as possible so he wouldn't disturb the residents nor attract attention to himself. 

Despite all his happy grins and strange laughter, Minwoo, on the inside, was a lot more sensitive than he let on. He didn't speak much about his mother's absence in his life, no, but that was because he didn't wish to relive it. In his mind, his mother had never really left him, and was always by his side, comforting him. She was merely invisible to the human eye.

"Mother," He sobbed, hiccuping slightly from his tears. "Mother, what do I do now? What if  _hyung_  never recovers? What if he stays in his slump forever?"

The wind seemed to falter slightly, and Minwoo wrapped his arms even tighter around himself. It was as if even his mother did not know the answer to his questions, and the mere thought of that made the dancer even sadder. What if Junyoung really never did recover the use of his leg? The doctors had said that he would still be able to walk, and dancing was not out of the question as long as it wasn't too strenuous and didn't put too much strain on his leg, but it wasn't the physicality of the problem that Minwoo was worried about. His leader didn't seem to be himself, choosing to stay silent instead of sharing his problems, even with him.

When they had become lovers, Minwoo finally gathering the courage to confess to Junyoung in an empty practice room that he'd dragged the leader to on pretense that he had a problem to confide in, he'd promised that he would do his best to help Junyoung out whenever he had problems. At that point, Junyoung had laughed and ruffled his hair, touched by the concern, and agreed with a small nod. That in itself had made a grin blossom on Minwoo's face.

But now. But now?

Junyoung was so closed off that he didn't know what to do. Not only to the other members, but also to  _him_. He, who had told the leader that he would do his best to help his lover out, who deserved more than this, who wanted to know more than this. Why was Junyoung not telling him anything when Minwoo had no way of helping the other get through this if he remained ignorant of what was going through Junyoung's mind?

"Idiot," He murmured under his breath. His tears had started to slow but the ache he felt didn't lessen in the least. "Idiot, idiot, idiot."

* * *

When Junyoung finally deigned to open his eyes - when had he fallen asleep? - and look up at his members, he scanned the room. They all looked worried, their eyes red as though they hadn't slept the previous night. While all 8 had been in the  _hyung_  dorm the day before, refusing to leave until he confided in them, now there were only 3 others.

Heechul glared at him, his gaze made even more intense by the obvious lack of sleep and the anger on his face. Junyoung knew that the younger rapper was prone to moodiness, especially in the mornings and when he was deprived of his sleep, but this was on a whole new level. This wasn't the expression Heechul usually had when they had to survive on an hour of rest. 

On the other hand, Kwanghee wasn't even looking at him. While the sub-vocalist had always been obnoxiously loud to the point of annoying sometimes, now he wasn't making a single sound. A quick glance in his direction, and Junyoung registered the fact that Kwanghee was staring out the window, brow furrowed and eyes darting back and forth as though looking for something.

Then there was Dongjun, whose panting was the only sound in the otherwise silent room. He was doing push ups in the middle of the living room, eyes trained onto something that Junyoung had to crane his neck to see, his muscles surprisingly tense, as though he was waiting for something to happen.

It was then Junyoung realized that they were all clutching onto their phones. Dongjun, at least, had his phone in front of him, and whenever he lowered himself down, he almost glared at his phone, as though willing the screen to light up.

Even though it took some time, it did register in Junyoung's mind that it seemed they were all panicking inwardly. He looked around the room again, took in the lack of Minwoo - who had refused to leave his side ever since he was discharged from the hospital unless he absolutely had to - and remembered the fact that his lover had stormed out the night before. Eyes widening slightly, Junyoung shifted in his seat, turning his attention to Heechul.

"M-Minwoo?" He questioned, his voice hoarse from the lack of use. He hadn't spoken in 2 days, and his vocal chords weren't used to talking yet. "Where...?"

"He hasn't returned," The answer came, and Junyoung whipped his head over to Kwanghee, who was still staring out the window with that same solemn expression. "We don't know where he went. We've checked all the places he frequents, called his family and his friends, but no one can give us a clue to his whereabouts."

Fear settled in Junyoung's throat, and he had to will himself to calm down. The dancer was not weak, and Junyoung knew it, yet he couldn't help himself. Minwoo was one of the most important people to him, and to think that he was out there, where ever he was, alone, was just shy of enough to make Junyoung start hyperventilating.

He thought about how he had treated Minwoo the night before and swallowed hard, lowering his head so that his bangs covered his eyes. He knew that the dancer had only meant well, that Minwoo merely wanted to offer his help and have it received. He'd often heard, after all, from his lover that he didn't feel like he was worth being in this group because of his lack of experience. It always made him smile when he saw his help being received, even more so when he saw it was appreciated. 

Junyoung had chased him away.

His lips trembled at the thought of Minwoo getting into any trouble. Of course he knew that the younger dancer could protect himself if he absolutely had to, and that his legs could carry him far faster and further than most people could, but he was still, ultimately, afraid. Quickly grabbing his crutches, Junyoung lifted himself heavily off the couch.

Kwanghee's eyes snapped immediately to his frame. Years of being friends had led to Kwanghee knowing how Junyoung thought. Sure, he had claimed Siwan as his best friend in ZE:A, but the fact still remained that, if he hadn't met Junyoung, this group would never have been created, and that, out of all the members, their leader was still the first friend that he had had here. "Junyoung," Kwanghee reprimanded, voice stern. "I know you're concerned, but you still need to think about yourself."

"Would you be able to sit here, if it were Siwan- _hyung_  in Minwoo's position?" Junyoung questioned, eyes still downcast and jaw tight with tension. "Knowing that you were the one who drove him away with your silence when all he wanted to do was comfort you? That he could be hurt, and it would be no one's fault except your own?"

The words made their impact on the elder, and Kwanghee loosened his hold on Junyoung's arms slightly. Heechul and Dongjun got up, then exited, clearly starting their own search for the dancer. Their presence had been for his benefit, Junyoung registered, and if he knew them - which he did - they would have started running the moment they left the building. 

He thought, deeply, as Kwanghee helped him out the apartment they shared. If Minwoo was not in the places that the members knew of, then it would make sense that he either ran off somewhere where only he knew, or he had run in a random direction and lost his way. Knowing that the dancer kept his head even in times of extreme emotion, the former seemed more plausible. 

"Hold your crutches," Kwanghee instructed, and Junyoung snapped out of his reverie to stare at his friend. Annoyance seeped into his voice when the leader didn't move. "I said hold them! You're not going to be able to walk down the stairs like this."

With the knowledge that the sub-vocalist was one of the weaker - in terms of muscle and strength - in the group, Junyoung was almost skeptical, but he slowly leaned all his weight on one leg under the disapproving glare of the elder. He felt himself being lifted with surprising strength, almost hitting Kwanghee on the head with his crutches, and turned his shocked gaze to Kwanghee's face.

There was a scoff, and a raised eyebrow. "We all trained to do this, you know," He informed. "Even me, yes. Minwoo was the most adamant out of all of us to be able to pick you up. He stayed in the gym whenever he could, and took advice from Dongjun. They're probably the only two out of all of us to be able to support you with one arm. Well, and Taeheon, but he's always been able to do that."

Kwanghee shot him another disapproving look when they got to the ground floor, gently placing him back on his feet and letting him lean his weight on the crutches instead. "There were a lot of times we found Minwoo crying on his own, you know," He said. "He didn't make any sound, but if he looked up there would be tears silently running down his face. He tried his best to make sure that you wouldn't be uncomfortable."

"Even I was shocked, to be perfectly honest," Kwanghee laughed at his, humourlessly. "The boy who used to hit me and pull at my hair, suddenly so serious. He confided in Kevin, in Siwan, asking them for advice. He even came to me. 'You're the second closest to  _hyung_.' He had said. Tell me what I should do."

Junyoung kept silent as he hobbled along, hands tightening their grip on the crutches. He didn't want to hear this, but at the same time, he knew that he should. Minwoo had done so much for him, shed tears for and because of him, and yet Junyoung had done nothing but push him away the moment he had been discharged. He'd thrown away Minwoo's effort, his concern, and by extension, his love. It made him feel hollow, as though he'd just been sucker-punched and the assailant had taken away a piece of his body.

"I know where he is," He said, suddenly, shocking both himself and Kwanghee. "I know where he is."

* * *

"Mother, there's an  _oppa_  blocking the slide!" 

That voice woke Minwoo up, so different from the harsh scoldings and physical abuse that he was used to getting from Dongjun. Of course, he had lessened his beatings nowadays - and he usually had to leave the house even before the others had to wake up, with how busy his schedule had become - but Minwoo was still not used to such a childish voice.

"Don't be silly, there's no one there."

But there is, mother, there is! You just need to bend down!"

There was a lot of shuffling heard, and a woman's face appeared at the end of the slide, a few feet away from him. Minwoo shirked back, hiding his face in his knees again and refusing to move. The woman moved towards him slowly, hand outstretched as though afraid to scare him. "Are you okay?" She asked, voice laced with concern, and Minwoo was filled with memories of his sister asking him if he was alright when he fell down at the playground near his house.

"I'm okay," Minwoo managed to croak out, his voice awkward with all the crying he had done last night. "I'm sorry for blocking the slide; I'll leave now." He stretched his legs out, cringing with how numb they felt, and stood up, stumbling. 

The woman looked at him in concern, then hesitantly handed him a wet wipe. "You don't look okay. Are you sure you'll be all right?"

Taking the offered wet wipe with a bow and a small thank you, Minwoo nodded. "I will, really. Thank you again, and I'm really sorry for blocking the slide."

"It's okay,  _oppa_!" The small girl's voice sounded again, this time from next to him. He looked down, blinking, in the midst of using the wet wipe to clean up his face of the tear tracks. The girl was beaming up at him, tugging on his shirt. "As long as  _oppa_  isn't sad anymore, it's okay!"

Was his sorrow so evident on his face that even such a young child could sense it? While the dried tears on his face was a possible indicator, it seemed strange that the girl could tell how sad he was. He smiled down at the girl before squatting in front of her, using a hand to pat her on the head. "Thank you. I'm feeling a lot better now, so please enjoy yourself, all right?"

"I will!" The girl cheered, giggling. "Will  _oppa_  play with me?"

Stunned, Minwoo stared at her for a moment, then his features softened into a smile again. He really should be getting back, the logical part of him said, since he'd been in the freezing cold the entire night and his members would probably be worried. But, the other part of him, the part that was hurt, told him to stay. If he couldn't even make his lover happy, then what was the point? If he stayed here, he'd at least be able to cheer this girl up, and wasn't that what he, the smile killer, was supposed to do?

"Don't bother him, Minhee, he's probably busy," The woman said, looking at him with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, she's really hyperactive most of the time."

"It's fine," Minwoo said, eyes lighting up at the name of the girl. He turned his smile back onto her, asking, "Your name is Minhee?"

Nodding, the girl grinned, her twin ponytails bobbing along with the movement of her head adorably. "Mmhm! Kim Minhee!"

"Kim Minhee, huh?" Minwoo repeated, standing up and offering a hand to her. "Well, Minhee- _ah_ , my name's Ha Minwoo. Since we both have 'Min' in our names, we're going to be the best of friends, aren't we?"

* * *

"Junyoung," Kwanghee called, pointing. "Isn't that him?"

So he'd been right. This park was one that no other member in ZE:A except the two of them knew, and it made sense that none of the others had thought of coming here. It was theirs, and theirs alone, after all, and they'd made sure to keep it that way ever since they found this jewel. He watched Minwoo laugh with a child, running away from her with long leaps while she giggled and tried to catch him, her hands outstretched, and it made him feel hollow, again.

The elder was about to yell out the dancer's name when Junyoung placed a hand on his arm, shaking his head slowly, still transfixed on the sight in front of him. Minwoo hadn't noticed them - him - yet, lost in the childish fun and innocence that he hadn't had in a long time. 

"It's your turn to close your eyes,  _oppa_!" Came the girl's laughing sentence. "Close your eyes, close your eyes!"

"Yes, yes," Minwoo agreed, grinning widely as he closed them, placing his hands over his eyes as well to appease her when she accused him of peeking. "Now go hide!"

The girl ran giggling towards them, and Junyoung stiffened when she approached. She grinned up at them with wide eyes and a brilliant smile, placing a finger on her lips to ask them to be quiet, then quickly hid behind their legs, clutching at his good one and peering questioningly at his injured one. He saw a woman hesitantly stand up from her place at the bench - most likely her mother - and sent a reassuring look in her direction to tell her that it was okay.

"8, 9, 10! Ready or not, Minhee, here I come!"

So her name was Minhee. It would have made Junyoung smile on any other occasion except this one. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kwanghee shift slightly so that she would be better hidden behind the two of them, one arm on her back so that she wouldn't wander off and get into danger - the main road was behind them, after all. 

He watched as Minwoo looked around the playground, slightly confused when he couldn't find her, eyes darting around. He glanced at the woman, who just smiled mysteriously at him, and pouted. Turning on his heels, he finally spotted the bright pink shoes of Minhee, only to look up at the two people she was hiding behind and stiffened, taking an automatic step back, his face shutting down and becoming defensive almost immediately.

It was like an iron curtain had been dropped in front of them, and Junyoung flinched at how unfriendly Minwoo's face had become. Minhee's mother, as though noticing the sudden change in atmosphere, quickly stood up and went to fetch her daughter, thanking them with a bow. Minhee whined a little at being torn away in the middle of her game, but once she saw the expression on Minwoo's face, she quietened down, running up to him and hugging his leg adorably.

"Good luck, Minwoo- _oppa_ ," She whispered, her maturity shining through. "I'll see you soon."

There was a certain defense in the way Minwoo stood, one foot in front of the other. The stance once similar to the one they had learned during kickboxing so many years ago, and it brought back so many memories of a smiling Minwoo that Junyoung couldn't help but move closer to his lover. "Minwoo..."

The other didn't say anything, merely continued to stare at them with his hard gaze. Kwanghee made sure that Junyoung could stand properly on his own, then made his way over to Minwoo. A hand was placed on Minwoo's shoulder as Kwanghee tilted his head to speak softly into the dancer's ear, voice a lot softer than it normally was. Minwoo's eyes flashed with hesitance, and the coldness left them for a moment so brief Junyoung thought he might have imagined it.

As Kwanghee walked away with a wave, they both remained unmoving. The moment Kwanghee turned the corner, however, Minwoo's muscles tensed, and Junyoung could tell that he was just seconds from bolting. Desperate, Junyoung stumbled forward. "Don't."

Hesitance flashed in Minwoo's eyes again, his posture changing. Taking advantage of this, Junyoung continued to try to move forward. When he was closer to Minwoo, he let go of his right crutch and reached out to his lover, who flinched, then quickly reached out to steady him. "Don't go," Junyoung managed to choke out, dropping his other crutch to lean all his weight on the dancer, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry; Please don't run from me." 

"I thought you didn't want my help?" Minwoo asked, voice monotone. "You were fine, weren't you? On that couch, content on wallowing in your sadness. Why are you coming to me now?"

Shaking his head violently, Junyoung clutched the one he loved more than anyone else close to him. He didn't say anything, preferring to let his actions show how he felt rather than speak. Words didn't mean much to Minwoo, he knew, even if they were everything to him. It had been difficult, at first, the difference in the way they preferred to communication their feelings, but they'd managed to make it work. 

Slowly, almost achingly slowly, Minwoo wrapped his arms around Junyoung as well, burying his face into his leader's neck. His lips were trembling again, and he had to take a deep breath to stop it. "Promise me you won't push me away."

"No," Junyoung replied, inhaling shakily. "Not anymore."

It took Minwoo quite some time to respond, during which time Junyoung could only wait, heart in his throat. When he did, murmuring a small 'I love you' into his neck, Junyoung finally let the tears fall.


End file.
